Taking on Trauma: What Loved Ones Need to Know About Secondary PTSD
Living with someone who has PTSD can change routines, communication patterns, and relationships.
When Jenna Malone’s husband Issac returned home from military service, she expected life to feel different. What she did not expect was how different it would be.
Issac was navigating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) when Jenna began to notice her own behavior was changing.
As a mom of three, Jenna was always safety-conscious, but over time, she started feeling more anxious and on edge, even when she was not with her husband.
“I was starting to react to things that he would react to. For example, a large crowd or loud noises. I felt more hypervigilant in my surroundings,” Jenna recalls.
Eventually, she learned that her symptoms were a result of something known as secondary PTSD – also sometimes known as secondary trauma, secondary traumatic stress, or vicarious trauma.
The Impact of PTSD on Veterans – and Their Loved Ones
According to the most recent Warrior Survey* by Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP), 77% of registered warriors self-reported PTSD. While symptoms vary, the effects challenge not only warriors’ quality of life but also that of their loved ones.
“Secondary PTSD can happen when someone is exposed to another person’s trauma or trauma reactions over time,” explains Erin Fletcher, Psy.D., director of Warrior Care Network® at Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP). “It is a common experience we hear about. When a person is living with PTSD, others begin to adapt to the individual and take on certain behaviors.”
Dr. Fletcher says secondary PTSD can affect spouses, partners, parents, siblings, caregivers, and even close friends.
The Downside of Adapting
Family members are often willing to do whatever they can to support their loved one with PTSD.
However, Dr. Fletcher explains, over time, that can affect the quality of life for the whole family. “Especially when people stop focusing on their own needs,” she says.
“It's not uncommon to hear family members say things like, ‘We need to keep our voices down because Mom or Dad doesn’t like loud noise.’ Or, ‘We can't attend this or that because Dad or Mom isn’t comfortable with crowds,’” says Dr. Fletcher.
Jenna and Issac were introduced to equine therapy through Warrior Care Network. They still enjoy the activity today.
Over time, though, that can lead to secondary trauma symptoms.
Signs Secondary Trauma May Be Affecting Loved Ones
Secondary trauma symptoms can look different for every person, but Dr. Fletcher says some common signs may include:
- Feeling constantly alert or hypervigilant
- Increased anxiety or irritability
- Avoiding crowds or loud environments
- Difficulty sleeping or trouble relaxing
- Feeling emotionally exhausted
- Social withdrawal or increased periods of isolation
Dr. Fletcher says that some people may turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms, which could include overeating or not eating enough, or self-medicating with drugs or alcohol. Physical symptoms, including stomachaches and headaches, are common in children, she adds.
“Supporting someone with PTSD can feel overwhelming, but it is important for loved ones to know that their feelings and experiences are valid – and that positive change is possible."
She adds that WWP’s mission is not only to help veterans manage their PTSD symptoms, but also to support loved ones coping with secondary trauma.
Learn about PTSD resources and support for the whole family.
Recognizing Change and Communicating Openly
For many military families, the changes often occur gradually. “You do not always recognize it right away,” Jenna says. “I did not realize how much stress I was carrying until it started affecting my own health and daily life.”
After her symptoms escalated to panic attacks, Jenna knew something had to change. She engaged with WWP Talk, an emotional support program that allowed her to connect weekly with a dedicated mental health coach.
“It was extremely helpful [for me] just to talk out some of the things that I just needed to get off my chest or just work through,” she says, adding that she learned new techniques to manage her own symptoms while continuing to support her husband.
One of the biggest turning points, though, came during Issac’s participation in Warrior Care Network, an accelerated PTSD treatment program. During couples counseling, they gained tips for navigating their relationship more effectively, including communicating more openly about what each was experiencing.
“I didn't fully understand what Issac was struggling with,” says Jenna. “When we went to Warrior Care Network, we were finally given the tools to really communicate.”
The couple also set aside time to talk to their children about what Issac was experiencing and educate them on ways to work through their own anxiety, anger, and other emotions.
“Learning these new skills helped us improve our relationship with each other, but the kids noticed the difference in how we interacted together and individually toward them,” Jenna recalls. “I am thrilled to be able to pass on healthier coping skills.”
Based on experiences at Warrior Care Network, the family also embraced art therapy and equine therapy to help maintain their mental health. They recently relocated to a farm and adopted two horses.
Healing Is Not a Solo Process
Today, Jenna shares her experiences as a caregiver to help others recognize the potential for secondary trauma and the importance of asking for support early.
“Healing is not just about one person,” reminds Dr. Fletcher. “PTSD affects families, and recovery takes support, communication, and patience from everyone involved.”
*Warrior Survey, Wave 3 (conducted June 15-Aug. 24, 2023)
Find out more about veteran mental well-being.
Contact: Cynthia Weiss – Public Relations, cweiss@woundedwarriorproject.org, 904.738.2589
About Wounded Warrior Project
Since 2003, Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP) has been meeting the growing needs of warriors, their families, and caregivers, helping them achieve their highest ambitions. Learn more.