No Warrior Walks Alone: The Strength of Connection

When Army veteran Benjamin Heck first heard the term “peer support,” he imagined a room of veterans taking turns introducing themselves and sharing their trauma in front of strangers. It wasn’t something he found appealing.

When someone finally convinced Benjamin to attend a Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP) Peer Support Group meeting, he was hesitant.  Turns out, the experience didn’t require sharing his life story — just an open mind, and a willingness to show up.

“It's not, ‘spill your guts and tell me the most horrific thing in the whole world,’” Benjamin said. “I just want to be your friend.”

For many veterans, one of the hardest parts of military transition is losing the camaraderie they shared with fellow service members. WWP® fills that gap by connecting veterans with other warriors through Peer Support Groups and Alumni Connection Program events.

Building Connection Without Pressure

WWP’s Connection programs aren’t about baring your soul, although you can if you choose. They’re about finding people who understand and care about what you’re going through, good and bad. It’s about rebuilding the bonds that are unique to military members and their families.

WWP Peer Support Groups are small groups led by fellow warriors. While the groups provide support and encouragement, they are not clinical in nature.

“You can talk. You don’t have to talk; no big deal,” said Benjamin, who now serves as a Peer Support Group leader. “We’ll talk about a topic … then do something fun.”

The Alumni Connection program gives warriors and their loved ones ways to engage with others through hosted events and activities.

The WWP Warrior Survey* shows how important connection is. About 2 in 3 WWP warriors say that talking to another veteran helps them cope with stress or mental health concerns.

For veterans like Benjamin, those connections can be a lifeline.

“Isolation has a domino effect,” Benjamin said. “It just leads down to a bad path that could be potentially dangerous. Just that I have somewhere to go and meet up with some people, that's huge.”

Taking the First Step

For Benjamin, the military wasn’t a given. He had several members of his family serve in the military, but initially thought that wasn’t the route he’d take. Until 9/11 changed his outlook.

“I wanted to do something for my country,” Benjamin said. “Just like my family members did.”

In 2002, Benjamin joined the Army and found his calling.

“I ended up loving it,” he said. “I’d volunteer for any [deployment] I could.”

But multiple deployments led to multiple injuries, including a traumatic brain injury (TBI), broken bones, and back and knee injuries. Despite this, the idea of leaving the service was something Benjamin couldn’t fathom.

“I made it a point to stay in as long as I possibly could because I didn't want to leave,” he said. “Just because of the camaraderie, the friends that I made, the brothers and sisters there, I felt like I would let them down if I was to leave.”

Benjamin stayed in for 13 more years before medically retiring in 2018. While retirement meant more time with his family, it also presented new challenges.

“I was in charge of over 70 soldiers, over $50 million worth of equipment. Then all of a sudden, I'm getting up in the morning like I have somewhere to go, but I have nowhere to go,” Benjamin said.

“I became a master of making cheesy eggs for my kids, getting them out the door, and making sure they had everything. Then, when they left, it was just really quiet. I felt like I didn't have a purpose.”

I had that battle buddy I had been lacking. And it was a whole room of them.

Benjamin heard of WWP during his transition out of the military, but didn’t think he qualified. Even after learning he did and signing up, he was still reluctant to take part in any events or groups. Eventually, someone asked him to help out at a peer support group meeting because they were short-handed. Benjamin couldn’t say no.

“Turns out, they didn't need help,” Benjamin said. “But the group was great. And I felt like when I was in. I had that battle buddy I had been lacking. And it was a whole room of them.”

Finding Strength Through Shared Experience

Joe Stabley joined the Army as a medic at 17, before 9/11. During an early noncombat deployment to Egypt, he experienced a loss that would stay with him. A close friend and fellow soldier died by suicide.

“The veteran and active-duty suicide epidemic wasn't really on the forefront of the news,” Joe said. “So, we didn't really talk too much about it afterwards.”

After 9/11, Joe reenlisted, completed special forces training, and served as a medic to front-line forces. He was assigned to the 10th Special Forces Group in Fort Carson, Colorado, where he lived with three roommates who had all been classmates in the special forces program.

On a deployment to Iraq, one of those roommates was killed in action. Joe had little time to think about the loss — or deal with it.

“It haunted me for a while, but you just get through. That's what we do. Complete the mission, go home,” Joe said.

But back home, the emotions were harder to suppress. Joe returned to a house where his roommate’s room sat untouched, just the way he had left it.

“That was a very surreal moment, knowing that he wasn't going to return and having to eventually be the one to pack up his stuff and ship it home to his family,” Joe said.

Joe went on to get married, start a family, transition to the National Guard, and enroll in school to become a physician’s assistant. Outwardly, life moved forward, but internally, the weight of the trauma he experienced felt heavy. Flashbacks and survivor’s guilt were part of his day-to-day life.

“I was having flashbacks and panic attacks in school, and I kept all of it to myself,” Joe said. “I didn't want to risk getting kicked out of the course, so I just laid low and pushed it all in.”

In 2021, Joe medically retired from the service. Then his mom passed away, which intensified his post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). WWP supported Joe’s healing journey by helping him navigate his VA benefits and connecting him with other warriors through Physical Health and Wellness events and the Carry Forward 5K.

After losing so many people in his life and struggling with suicidal ideation himself, Joe came to understand the importance of staying connected.

“I have so many people on speed dial and text and social media, and I'm making such a better habit out of connecting now,” Joe said. “Just by virtue of hearing one person's voice on the other end of the line or one handshake or a hug can just lift you back up.”

Joe now leads a group for First Responder Psychological Services and works as a Physician Assistant. He’s also heavily involved in WWP’s program and services.

“If people are looking for meaning or hope, they can find it here,” Joe said of his involvement with WWP Peer Support. “I've seen it, I've lived it.”

Opening the Door to Understanding

Antoinette Wallace joined the Army National Guard in the wake of the 9/11 attacks. She deployed to Iraq in 2004, where she was sexually assaulted, an experience that led to PTSD and a fear of opening up to people.

Antoinette’s parents connected her to help through the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA). She spent several months in the hospital, getting care for her physical injuries, as well as her PTSD. Despite her treatment plan, she felt like something else was missing.

“I needed people to hear me who weren’t a therapist.”

The VA treatment center helped connect Antoinette to WWP’s programs and services, including peer support.

“It was a total gamechanger because I didn’t know how to express the emotions I was having to anybody,” Antoinette said. “I wouldn’t have thought like a complete stranger would be what I needed .”

Looking back, Antoinette sees peer support as both a turning point and a measure of growth. Asking for help took time, she said, but being on the other side of that experience has shown her how far she has come in her recovery and how meaningful it is to support someone who may still be finding their footing.

“The first time I went to an event, this was my mindset — ‘I don’t know if I want to do this. I don’t know these people. I didn’t want to be put in a position where I’m uncomfortable,” Antoinette said. “I’m so grateful I did. That little fight or flight insecurity, a lot of veterans struggle with it, but I can see only positive things happening from going and interacting with your peers. We all need the interaction.”

Making Room for Connection

Connection doesn’t have to happen all at once — and it doesn’t have to look the same for everyone.

WWP’s Peer Support Groups allow warriors to feel heard in a safe, judgment-free environment. WWP’s Alumni Connection Program helps warriors connect through activities like dinner, kayaking, bowling, painting, and movie night.

Peer Support Groups and Alumni Connection events can be in-person or virtual, so veterans can find what works best for them.

Going to a peer support group or a connection event doesn’t require anything more than showing up.

“What do you have to lose?” Antoinette said. “All you have is the ability to gain. You can come home with a new activity you enjoy, a new friend, more self-awareness, and know that you’re capable of putting yourself in new situations.”

Sometimes it’s just about giving a veteran the time, space, and opportunity to share at their own pace that can make all the difference.

“It may just take one phrase or one moment or one small hint to let them know, ‘Hey, this is a safe place,’” Joe said. “I've seen that countless times and that's pretty special.”

Benjamin decided to take that chance and found more than he expected. He wants other warriors to experience that feeling for themselves.

“I can see I have somewhere I feel I belong,” Benjamin said. “That's what really started it all. I want other people to experience that battle buddy that they may be missing, because you have it here,” Benjamin said.

*Warrior Survey, Wave 3 (conducted June 15 - Aug. 24, 2023)

Find out more about how WWP keeps warriors and families connected.

Contact: Paris Moulden, Public Relations, pmoulden@woundedwarriorproject.org, 904.570.7910

About Wounded Warrior Project
Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP) is the nation's leading veterans service organization, focused on the total well-being of veterans, active-duty service members, and their families. Our programs, advocacy, and awareness efforts help warriors thrive, provide essential lifelines to families and caregivers, and prevent veteran suicides. Learn more about Wounded Warrior Project.