Lean on Me: Family Serves at Home During Veteran's Military Service

Dante said goodbye to his mom, Beth King, on his 5^th birthday. Beth had enlisted in the Army and would be gone for 12 weeks for basic training before serving five years, including a deployment to Afghanistan when Dante was six.  

“I was the only caregiver he had known until I went into the military,” said Beth, a single mom who joined the Army to give her family a better life.

Beth knew it wouldn’t be easy for either of them when she was away for training or deployments. But she knew it was a life that would set them up for success – it was a career that would give her a solid foundation after she retired and provide the stability that Dante needed.

Dante’s Home Away from Home

There was no question who would support Beth’s son while she was away – it was her twin sister. While it was hard for Beth to emotionally process what she was missing back home, she found comfort that Dante’s needs would be met.

“It just took a big weight off my shoulders and made it so I could focus on my job while I was out there,” Beth said.

Living with Beth’s sister and family made the situation more bearable for Dante. He fit right in; he looked like them and was a part of the family. And on the harder days, Dante could curl up in her sister’s lap and pretend his mom was right there with him.

“The biggest part of protecting him was putting him somewhere he fit in, and no one would be constantly reminding him that I’m gone,” said Beth.

That protection meant giving him comfort while she was away – not only was he with someone who looked and sounded like his mom, but he was with family who loved him as if he were their own son.

A Mom’s Promise to Her Son

Not a day passed while Beth was away from her son that she didn’t talk to him, thanks to the support of her sister. That was a promise she made to both him and to herself. No matter what was going on or how little time she had, Beth would prioritize calls to make sure Dante knew she was coming home.

It’s not easy, but if you have the right support behind you, it makes it manageable.

Those conversations always focused on the future, like how many days were left on deployment, and what they would do together when she got home. That’s what got Beth through the tough days. No matter what, she could hear his voice and remember what she needed to focus on to complete the mission and come home.

“It’s not easy, but if you have the right support behind you, it makes it manageable,” she said. “I had more good days than bad because I knew at the end of a crappy day, I would get to call my sister and call my kid and forget about my troubles.”

But one hot July day in Afghanistan, Beth couldn’t make that call home to her son. As her unit prepared to land, a rocket-propelled grenade came through the belly of her aircraft and into the gator engine, igniting the gas lines. Her aircraft immediately went up in flames, and Beth was shaken out of the back of the Chinook, dangling from her backstrap.

She survived the incident but still couldn’t call home when she regained consciousness. Once she was finally allowed to call her sister, she wasn’t cleared to tell her family about anything that happened to her. When Beth finally made it home, she was dealing with an untreated traumatic brain injury, post-traumatic stress disorder, and other physical and mental wounds.

“When I finally got home and got to see him, it was a breath of fresh air,” said Beth. “I had missed him so terribly, and it had been so hard, but once I got back, it was so good.”

Beth always tried to focus on the good with Dante, but it was for herself, too. Although he was young and needed to be reminded that his mom would be back to hug him and care for him, she also needed to remind herself that the time away wouldn’t last forever.

“It was a hard decision [to enlist], but I believed in the mission” said Beth. “I would do it 100 times over. My son was proud of me, he’s still proud of me. I loved what I was doing and I was proud of what I was doing.”

More Resources and Support for Military Children and Families

With the unwavering support of her family, Beth was able to pursue a meaningful mission that she could take pride in. Reflecting that same commitment to support, Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP) invests in and works with other best-in-class veterans service organizations to meet the specialized needs of warriors, their families, and caregivers. The following WWP community partners can also offer resources in times of need.  

Hidden Helpers Coalition: The Elizabeth Dole Foundation and WWP co-chair the Hidden Helpers Coalition, a national alliance with the goal of uplifting the voices of military and veteran caregiver children and teens and enhancing the services and support they can rely on.

The Comfort Crew for Military Kids: Connects children of severely injured warriors to comfort kits and resources to help them build resiliency and cope with a parent’s injury and other extraordinary challenges. The comfort kits provide post-9/11 veterans with the tools and techniques to support their children’s needs during exceedingly difficult times. The kit components empower children by giving them strategies to understand, manage, and express their feelings, and how to ask for help when they need it.

Our Military Kids: Empowers military kids by offering extracurricular activity grants to participate in sports, arts, and other activities while their parents are deployed or recovering from severe injuries sustained in combat.

Military Child Education Coalition (MCEC): Empowers military families through inclusive, quality educational opportunities for children and parents affected by mobility, transition, deployments, and family separation. MCEC assists families throughout the transition and continuation of their journeys.

Military Family Advisory Network (MFAN): Connects military families to the resources they need to successfully navigate all phases of military life. MFAN conducts large-scale research and shares its findings to help fill gaps in the military community.

National Military Family Association: Empowers military families through military scholarships, STEM education, and Operation Purple camps, retreats, and adventures. Operations Purple camps offer military children a chance to connect with other kids like them. Family retreats and healing adventures provide quality time to reconnect as a family after an injury, deployment, or time of separation.

Contact: Kaitlyn McCue, Public Relations, kmccue@woundedwarriorproject.org, 904.870.1964

About Wounded Warrior Project 

Since 2003, Wounded Warrior Project^® (WWP) has been meeting the growing needs of warriors, their families, and caregivers — helping them achieve their highest ambition. Learn more about Wounded Warrior Project.