A Caregiver’s Guide to Navigating the Holiday Season

By Jennifer Jenkins

The holidays are often described as “the most wonderful time of the year.” But let’s be honest, they can also be the most overwhelming. For many military and veteran caregivers, the season brings an extra layer of stress, balancing caregiving duties, family expectations, and the pressure to make everything picture-perfect.

As a caregiver, I’ve been there, exhausted, stretched too thin, and trying to hold it all together with a smile. Over the years, I’ve learned that surviving, and even enjoying, the holidays is possible when we shift our expectations, honor our boundaries, and sprinkle in a little self-compassion.

How can you make space for your own peace and comfort amid the hustle and bustle of the holidays? 

1. The Art of Saying “No” Gracefully

Saying no without guilt can be one of the hardest things for caregivers to do. But it is one of the most powerful forms of self-care. Every “no” you give is also a “yes” to your own well-being.

Try thoughtful phrases like:

• “I appreciate the invitation, but my schedule is full this week.”
• Thank you for thinking of me. I need to focus on my family right now.”
• “That sounds wonderful, but I have to pass this time.”

If it feels right, you can also offer an alternative like:

• “We can’t attend this year, but I’d love to connect after the holidays.”
• “I can’t cook a side dish, but I can bring paper plates.”

Protecting your energy is not selfish; it is essential. 

2. Prioritize What Matters Most 

It’s easy to get stuck in the whirlwind of caregiving, but your needs matter, too. And remember, your needs are separate from the warrior or person you are caring for. You cannot, and should not, try to do it all. Decide what truly matters to you this season, not what tradition or social media tells you should matter. 

Don’t feel obligated to attend everything, either. It’s about quality over quantity! Choose what matters most to you. Maybe it is attending one special event instead of trying to participate in four. Perhaps it is skipping a big dinner and instead, enjoying a quiet evening at home.

Use these simple affirmations to stay grounded when the holidays start to feel overwhelming:

• “My peace matters as much as anyone else’s.”
• “It is okay if my holiday looks different this year.”
• “Happiness does not have to be shared to be real.”

Set expectations early and kindly. Let family and friends know what you can realistically do this year. Leaving early or changing plans is not rude; it's a healthy way to set boundaries.

3. Give Yourself Permission to Make New Rules

Caregiving changes everything, including how we celebrate. When we shift our focus to traditions that fit our caregiving life, we can find more peace and less pressure in the holiday season.

Make new memories that reflect where you are now, not where you used to be.

For instance, if a calm drive with your loved one to look at holiday lights will be more relaxing than a crowded party, do that instead.  

Reach out to organizations like Wounded Warrior Project to learn about holiday events or connection activities to add joy without handling the planning.

Traditions may change, but what the season means to you is always worth honoring.

4. Simplify Wherever You Can 

Trust me when I say there is joy in keeping things simple. Perfection is overrated. Each time I simplified the holidays, I found a little more meaning in them. Consider your time and talents in relation to your caregiving responsibilities and adjust.

Consider these swaps: 

• Send e-cards instead of handwritten ones.
• Choose a potluck instead of cooking an entire meal yourself.
• Focus on thoughtfulness and budget-friendly gift exchanges: Set a dollar limit or opt for handmade tokens of appreciation.

When you simplify, you create space for connection, which is the real gift of the season.

5. Be Mindful of Your Own Triggers - and Your Own Needs

Caregivers are experts at anticipating others’ needs and triggers, but we rarely do that for ourselves.

Pay attention to your own warning signs of stress, such as irritability, fatigue, or that “edgy” feeling that tells you burnout is near. When you notice them, pause, take a few breaths, and take time for yourself. Step outside, get fresh air, call a friend or take a short walk. Also, pay attention to ensure you are eating and hydrating.

Your strength and compassion carry others every day, but you deserve care too.

Setting boundaries and protecting your peace is an act of love, for yourself and for those who depend on you, during the holidays and every day.

Here’s to a season filled with grace, gratitude, and moments of rest that remind you how deeply valued you are. 

If you feel overwhelmed, remember, you are not alone. Wounded Warrior Project is here to support veterans – and their loved ones and caregivers. 

Need Support? Call the WWP Resource Center at 888.WWP.ALUM (997.2586) or 904.405.1213.

Additional support is available via the VA’s National Caregiver Support Line at 1-855-260-3274.

About Wounded Warrior Project

Since 2003, Wounded Warrior Project® (WWP) has been meeting the growing needs of warriors, their families, and caregivers — helping them achieve their highest ambition. Learn more.